#ExploreElul 22: Love

Today’s topic is Love

Drs. John and Julie Gottman are researchers who have dedicated years to the study of relationships. Specifically, Dr. John Gottman has spent time focusing on marriage stability and noting patterns that lead to the dissolution of a marital relationship. Through this research of what not to do, the Gottmans now run the Gottman Institute and dedicate themselves to working with people (couples, parents, and professionals) to help them strengthen their relationships and work through conflict productively. 

One thing the Gottmans’ note is that conflict is inevitable! Instead of shying away from disagreement or frustration, they teach that there are ways to process these feelings and come to a solution. 

As we navigate asking for forgiveness from those we have wronged in the coming days, the Gottmans remind us to be free of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse communication patterns, and counteract them with the Antidotes: gentle starts, culture of appreciation, taking responsibility, and taking breaks. In this way, we can communicate with our loved ones and begin the new year afresh. ​